I’m a recovering perfectionist. I have suffered most of my life from my ridiculous expectations. People pleasing, feeling guilty, trying soooo damn hard to make life work–and man was I fucking good at it! I never acknowledged that I had human limits and thrived on the feedback I got from others, which sounded like, “You have so much energy! You truly do it all! You’re amazing!” All this had me headed in a direction I never, ever saw coming…
a complete physical and mental crash and burn. And holy shit did it hurt!
Literally. I woke up one day, planned my solo hike at a nearby state park, went to the bathroom…and upon entering my room to change my clothes, fell to my floor never to be the same again. I remember frantically rummaging through my phone dialing first my husband, then my mom, then my sister… and then finally being able to connect to a cousin that lived nearby to take me to the ER. I quite honestly thought I was dying. I could feel my pulse slow, the cold sweat build and I couldn’t move my body. For the next few months I barely got out of bed. I took an unpaid leave of absence from my job. My mom had to come stay with us in order to take care of my 4 and 1 year old girls. I went from super human to barely human! “How could this happen to me?”, I kept thinking, “What did I do wrong?”
It was devastating to go from an over-achieving, successful, fit, go-getter to literally nothing… someone who laid in bed praying they wouldn’t die while no one was home. I developed a deep fear of being alone because my body felt so fragile. I spent upwards of $10,000 with ZERO medical answers. I was forced to accept the hard reality that the way I was living was exhausting me; mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I never believed that bullshit people told me about, “your wounds become your wings.” I grieved my old ways intensely, I held on strong and wouldn’t budge from the old me. Then, like all good stories go, something changed. And this is the shit I want to share with you.
I promise you that if this stubborn ass of mine can re-learn how to live life, to listen and honor myself, to recognize and love my limitations and most importantly get some freeeeeeckin’ power back, I KNOW in my heart of hearts that you can too!
So what else (besides life credential) qualifies me to do this work? I have a bunch of certifications and I’ve been a coach for a long ass time (12+ years) oh, and I also have a MS in Mental Health… but I’m telling you from my fire within that none of these credentials can provide as much passion as my crumbling did. It was the rebuilding that has given me the compassion and empathy necessary to be side by side with women on their own journey… THE JOURNEY HOME! (If you haven’t connected it yet, your “home” is your center, your power, your effing soul, your fire, your wisdom… call it what you want, but it’s the real YOU).